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[There's nothing to be done for it now, really--it's a little too late for Sousei. It's full-grown paranoia, now...compounding on abandonment issues that he had always been careful not to make into issues, and yet here he is, and it feels as if there could be nothing worse than Tenka leaving him.

Tenka talking to other people.

What if they took him away?

What if they stole him? What if Tenka went with them, and didn't come back?

He couldn't let that happen, but the fact that he can't find Tenka at this moment is enough to make him panic.]

where are you

[but he's not willing to wait for a response like the other days, not now. He just can't seem to bring himself to, even as he searches the apartment for tenka.]

answer me

[Seriously, this is just... no, maybe there's nothing, maybe Tenka is--

No, but he did leave him.

That's unacceptable.]

come back right now

please

[and immediately after that--]

disregard that

why did you leave

what do the other people here have to offer. you should have just stayed here.

you are not allowed to leave me again

come back. right now.

[yo wassup tenka left his phone in his room, haha awkward

which is why he has no idea what to expect when he walks back into the apartment now after meandering around for a bit, probably a combination of avoiding sousei and accepting his freedom and trying to manage some of the chaos outside

and then he's just sighing as he starts walking back to his room]

Hey, I'm home. Did I miss anything?

[tenka]

[haha awkward.

Except Sousei's not even thinking it's awkward. Sousei's been pacing, because Tenka isn't responding--and then Tenka is there, and Sousei strides forward to grab his arm.

NO.

STAY. PUT.]

Where did you go?

[jeeze sousei calm your shit]

[sousei really needs to calm his shit

but after the next day of this, Tenka's just sighing and moving to uncurl Sousei's fingers from around his arm.]

Out. Like I always do. I don't get why you're suddenly being so weird about it.

[and he's moving to go back to his room because he did leave his phone and what if someone besides Sousei texted him]

[Well...!! He can't help it.

He does let go of Tenka's arm (for better or for worse) and let's him go to his room. And. Takes that time to lock the front door. TOTALLY NORMAL.

Besides, he moves immediately to stand in the doorway of Tenka's room next.]

You don't have to leave. [him]

[Alright, this has been weird for a while. Tenka thought it hit the strangest point when Sousei crawled into his futon but now this is just even stranger.

It's like Sousei is having emotions that he's.... honestly not supposed to have. This isn't how his partner would normally act. And so Tenka moves to step past him, scrolling through his messages and seeing all the ones that Sousei left for him and sighing. Loudly.]

I'm not leaving. I'm just wandering around a little.

[t has been very weird... not that Sousei is aware anymore. He's very thoroughly too far gone now, unaware that there was ever a time before this--when he wanted Tenka to stay close, when he didn't want to share Tenka with anyone.

He's not embarrassed by the messages.

Those are his true feelings, after all.]

You are. You are leaving. Why do you find it necessary to leave?

Because you're suffocating!

[Which is something that he never thought that he would say to Sousei. They didn't talk for ten years and it would've been longer if circumstances didn't make their paths cross. So he's just frowning as he looks over at Sousei now.]

You're not yourself!

[Yeah, that's really the first clue...Sousei's coping mechanisms are avoidance, because he is used to depending on himself. He does not cling. He does not get obsessed. He avoids, so he does not have to deal with the struggle that is admitting he has feelings like human beings.

This though...

His eyes narrow.]

I am fine. Don't push me away.

[That would normally be a heartfelt plea, except in this situation it's more like a threat, almost, in a way.]

I won't allow it.

[Tenka bristles at the threat.

The heartfelt pleas worked better with him - the plaintive tones that came with Sousei urging him not to leave. Those were things that pulled at Tenka's heartstrings enough to get him to stop wanting to leave. But when it comes as something like this, he hates the idea of his freedom being limited.]

I don't care what you allow. You're my partner, not my parents. You know that.

[And as a result, he's ready to leave again, even though he just got home.]

[And that's what's happening. His freedom is being limited. And it doesn't even make sense that Sousei is doing this--but he's doing it nonetheless.

Sousei frowns.]

You said I was boring. I will fix it, if that's what's causing you to leave.

[That's also not at all a Sousei thing--not ever. He changes, yes, in some ways--but not ever because someone wants him to. If anything, he's way too stubborn for that.]

[Tenka refuses to accept it, shaking his head.]

What's causing me to leave is that you're being weird and you don't even notice! So I'm going to find an answer to get you back to your senses.

[So don't mind him if he's going to head right back toward their front door.]

[And immediately, Sousei is moving towards him, reaching again for him. No, no, no, unacceptable. He can't be left behind. He won't.

He won't.]

Don't leave me behind. If you have to go, I'll come with you.

[There's...a hint of desperation there now, because...he can't keep Tenka there if Tenka is determined to leave, and that's a terrifying thought, somehow.]

[Tenka wants to move out of the way or swat Sousei's hand away - but he doesn't. He can't. The last time he brushed Sousei off was the day that the Yamainu left him.

His heart's way too soft.]

.... Sousei, I can't handle you when you're like this.

[It is really too soft--but Sousei doesn't seem to notice or realize. If he does...it's only to note that it makes it easier to get Tenka to agree, and that's all that matters. Tenka can't leave him.

He won't let him.

He keeps that grip on Tenka, and tries again.]

Let me come with you.

[Please.]

[ . . . . . and Tenka huffs and tries as a last attempt-]

You're gonna get so mad later when you realize how many people notice how weird you're acting.

[Sousei doesn't even react at that. His grip tightens, and he just looks at him.

He can come, right???

He's totally coming.

And Tenka is 100% correct, he's going to hate all of this when he comes back to himself. But for now, he doesn't even remember how he should be, and can only remember how he is now--and how he is now is someone who needs to cling to Tenka with all that he has.]

[ . . . and Tenka just sighs, shaking his head.

If he agrees to this, he feels vaguely like he's failing his partner - but he also has a feeling it'd be impossible to get Sousei to stay here while he goes out....]

Let's just try not to go into really crowded streets, alright? For the sake of your pride.

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deontology - 2015-01-24 08:28 (UTC) - Expand

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sorry in advance | text; 11/05

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okay i'm done

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